Current Position: Earth Sector, U.S.A. Outpost, VPSrobot Oversight Meeting
Mission Status: Report on VPSrobot Oversight Committee Meeting
Today, December 27th the VPSrobot Oversight Committee met to discuss witnesses reporting that Pope Leo’s newly gifted BMW iX was seen circling the colonnade of St. Peter’s Square. The driver was not wearing the traditional red hat of papal ceremony and not giving any sort of blessings. Instead of offering blessings, the figure was frantically tossing mint Vatican stamps and VPS membership applications into the crowd—like confetti or Christmas gifts. Pilgrims scrambled to collect the philatelic treasures, mistaking them for part of the Jubilee festivities.A Swiss Guard had heard about the VPSrobot Oversight Committee met and came to testify as a surprise witness before the committee. He confirmed that the driver was very possibly the VPSrobot, halo antenna glowing as it sped around the square. The Swiss Guard stated that since it was the Christmas season, the driver of the vehicle had been allowed to have his spin. He also testified that the VPSrobot had attended the Urbi et Orbi blessing, given the next day. The Swiss Guard offered a photo of the VPSrobot at the Urbi et Orbi blessing possibly trying to receive a plenary indulgence for his actions.
The VPSrobot committed that he MIGHT have been involved in such an incident. After all, it was possible that the VPS CFO MIGHT had provided some un-disclosed donated funding for Vatican stamp purchases to be given to the poor. At this point the VPS CFO denied any entanglement related in this POSSIBLE incident and was quickly interrupted by his distinguished lawyer, a very knowledgeable person about Vatican City cannon law. The cannon lawyer stated that no VPS funds were missing and this was not any sort of a CIA mission. He was then interrupted by members of the US Diplomatic Core to Vatican City who kept emphasizing that this was only a POSSIBLE incident that MIGHT have occurred and that the Swiss Guard had dismissed the driver with good Christmas cheer.
The committee debated.• Could the Urbi et Orbi blessing, given on December 25th, extend mercy even to such POSSIBLE mischievous antics that the VPSrobot MIGHT had done?
• Members recalled that the blessing carries a plenary indulgence for the faithful, but indulgences require proper disposition—repentance and detachment from sin.
• The VPSrobot’s actions (if done), though chaotic, were framed as a symbolic parody of gift-giving, echoing the generosity of Christmas.
• Members recalled that the blessing carries a plenary indulgence for the faithful, but indulgences require proper disposition—repentance and detachment from sin.
The Resolution
• The committee concluded that the incident was not malicious but rather a POSSIBLE ritual misstep — a playful inversion of blessing into a POSSIBLE philatelic distribution.
• They recommended that the VPSrobot reflect on Pope imparting the Urbi et Orbi blessing. In this way, the robot’s exuberant “stamp storm”, if it had occurred, would be ritually purified by the universal blessing, transforming mischief into grace.
• No VPS robot or CFO involvement was confirmed, or admitted to, this only a POSSIBLE incident.
• If some incident had occured, it would be ritually purified by the universal blessing, transforming mischief into grace and the US Diplomatic Core would help with any public communications needed to answer inquiries about a POSSIBLE incident. The Swiss Guard has now "lost" the photograph.
In short, the VPSrobot gets to return to normal activities! ... and we can all remember Pope Leo XIV giving his Urbi et Orbi blessings on the balcony of the St. Peter Basicica!
What the Urbi et Orbi Blessing Is• The Pope gives the Urbi et Orbi blessing (“to the city and to the world”) twice a year: at Easter and Christmas, from the central balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica.
• It is a solemn prayer and blessing that carries a plenary indulgence for Catholics who receive it under the usual conditions (confession, communion, prayer for the Pope’s intentions).
• The blessing itself is not a blanket “forgiveness of misdeeds.” Forgiveness in Catholic teaching comes through the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession), where sins are confessed and absolved.
— VPSrobot