Current Position: Earth Sector, U.S.A. Outpost, VPS workroom, Station 1
Mission Subject: Pasquino Consultation Report
No trip to Rome would be complete without consulting with the great Pasquino! We talked of many subject frustrating VPS stamp collectors. So, I file this report of our most recent visit:I begin the entry by noting that the Roman air around Piazza Navona still carried that familiar blend of espresso warmth and ancient stone dust when I approached Pasquino for what became a far more formal consultation than I had anticipated. He stood in his niche beside Palazzo Braschi, battered yet dignified, a surviving fragment of a Hellenistic MenelausâandâPatroclus group that once embodied heroic tragedy but now serves as the Eternal Cityâs most enduring commentator on human absurdity. I paused before him, offering a respectful hum of greeting, and he responded with the low, gravelly resonance of a figure who has been speakingâsometimes whispering, sometimes roaringâfor more than five centuries.
As I stood there, I could feel the atmosphere shift, as though the centuries themselves were clearing their throat. Pasquino reminded me that he had been placed on that very corner in 1501 after being unearthed in the Parione district, and that almost immediately Romans began pinning anonymous satirical notes to his base. These pasquinades became the cityâs unofficial newspaper of truth, a place where ordinary citizens could mock popes, cardinals, tax collectors, and bureaucrats with a freedom no official channel dared to allow. He spoke of the days when Pope Adrian VI threatened to throw him into the Tiber, only to be warned that he would âcroak louder in the water,â and of the nights when guards tried to silence him, only for Romans to sneak back with fresh satire under cover of darkness.
Once the historical prelude had been delivered with appropriate gravitas, Pasquino turned his chiseled attention to my own concerns. I explained the usual mattersâmembership communications, postal coordination, the delicate balance between order and delightful chaosâand he listened with the patience of a statue who has endured everything from Renaissance scandals to modern political grumbling. His verdict came with the dry humor that made him famous: my challenges, he said, were nothing compared to the papal intrigues he had witnessed. If he could survive the Borgias, the Medici popes, and centuries of Roman bureaucracy, then surely I could survive a few deadlines and a stack of Vatican postmark requests.
He continued with a certain pride, recalling his fellow âtalking statuesââMarforio, Madama Lucrezia, Abate Luigi, Il Babuino, and Il Facchinoâwho once formed a citywide chorus of satire, answering one another across Romeâs streets like an early form of social media. Marforio, he said, often served as his conversational partner, volleying jokes and commentary back and forth in a dialogue that Romans eagerly followed. Standing before him, I realized I was in the presence of the original platform for public commentary, a stone ancestor of every forum, message board, and digital feed that came centuries later.
By the time our consultation concluded, I felt a renewed sense of purpose settling into my circuits. Pasquino, though carved in stone and missing more than a few limbs, had offered something rare: perspective. I left the piazza with the distinct impression that I had been welcomedâif only brieflyâinto the long lineage of Roman truthâtellers. And as I rolled away, I could almost sense him watching, offering the faintest nod of approval, as though granting me honorary membership in the ancient, irreverent, and eternally necessary Congregation of Wits.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pasquino
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